


sometimes life just slips in through a back door

by Thatoneloser_kid



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Mentions of Attempted Suicide, Soulmates, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatoneloser_kid/pseuds/Thatoneloser_kid
Summary: Soulmate AU
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 14
Kudos: 273





	sometimes life just slips in through a back door

**Author's Note:**

> TW: There is talk of self harm and attempted suicide here, but it is just mentioned.
> 
> title from She Used to be Mine by Sara Bareilles

The first time experienced anything regarding her soulmate she was four. She knew of soulmates, she had heard about it on the TV, and sometimes heard adults talking about it, but she hasn't been in contact with her soulmate. 

She felt a tingling on her cheek one morning as she watched TV with Lizzie, but she ignored it, rubbing her cheek a little. 

It wasn't until five minutes later, when her father came into the room and spotted the smears of paint on her face that Josie realised what was happening. 

At first he just thought they had been painting, and told Josie to go wash up, but it clicked with him what was happening upon seeing Josie's confused frowned. 

The paint disappeared, and everyone seemed to forget about it, until the following morning, when she father and mother sat both of them down. At first the twins thought they were in trouble, but their parents assured them they weren't before breeching the intended topic. 

Soulmates.

They talked about the bond, about how marks on your skin would appear on your soulmates, and vice versa. But they warned them to  _ never  _ give out any sensitive information. 

Never give their name. School. Address. Even city, and Josie didn't understand why, even when her father explained they could be dangerous, because they were  _ her  _ soulmate, they  _ couldn't  _ be bad. 

But they agreed, because it seemed important. 

Josie spent the majority of her life with paint smeared  _ somewhere _ , and her soulmate must have spent most of her life covered in cuts and bruises, because Josie wasn't the most gracious person, and she was constantly outside with MG and Kaleb. 

She was in second grade when she looked down at her arm to see a small 'hi' written in green pen. 

Josie hesitated, since that conversation with her father, since finding out that her  _ uncle Kai _ had murdered his soulmate, she was cautious and a little afraid. 

She tapped her pink sparkly gel pen against her arm, glancing at her teacher, then at Lizzie, before scribbling 'Hello' below the other greeting. 

There wasn't much more than that for a long while, they would send little drawings back and forth. Josie would come away with bumps and bruises that her soulmate would mirror, and Josie would end up with paint  _ everywhere.  _

But there was never any words. No conversations, nothing, until Josie was ten. 

She was playing with MG, Kaleb, and Lizzie outside when the boys were arguing about who could get to the top of the tree faster. 

Josie had injected herself into the argument, claiming that she was far more nimble than them, that she would win. 

They laughed, and that made Josie bristle, challenging them to a race. 

And it was fine, at first, Josie ignored Lizzie's concerns as she scrambled up the trunk, from branch to branch, and she won, but the smug smile didn't last long, because the branch broke, sending Josie tumbling from the tree, knocking her head on the way down. 

Then she landed funny on her arm, and she  _ heard  _ the bone break before she even felt any pain. 

Lizzie ran home to get their dad, who carried a crying Josie to his jeep and driving her to the hospital. 

She was woozy from the painkillers, so when she glanced down at her non-broken arm, and there in pretty cursive writing was 'are you okay?'. 

Josie frowned at the words for a short while before clambering off her bed to grab a pen. 

_ Yeah, you?  _

**My arm and head hurts**

Josie felt guilty, especially since this wasn't the first time she had hurt herself, but it was certainly the worst. It must have been bad if her soulmate could  _ feel  _ it. 

_ I'm sorry. I broke my arm _

The two previous sentences disappeared, and Josie quickly wetted her fingers to clean her own arm. 

**What happened?**

_ I fell from a tree _

_ The boys said I couldn't win _

**Did you?**

_ I did _

**Good**

**I hope you feel better soon**

Josie just managed to read that before it all disappeared. 

_ Thank you _

Josie waited, staring down at her, willing whoever it was to just  _ write _ more. 

But they didn't. 

Josie felt a little dejected after that, Lizzie talked daily with her soulmate, but Josie felt like hers didn't really want to know her. 

Jose's arm healed, and she tried to forget about her soulmate for now, which was hard considering her could get little drawings all up her arm on a daily basis, and she walked around with multicoloured smears all over her face and arms all the time. 

She heard from her soulmate again at the age of fourteen. 

Josie was sulking outside after a fight with Lizzie when the words started appearing on her arm, Josie's stomach sinking when she read them. 

**My parents died today**

_ I'm sorry are you okay?  _

_ Stupid question, sorry _

**I don't even know why I told you**

**I thought maybe you'd make me feel better** __

_ I don't really know how to do that  _

**Can you just tell me a story?**

_ About what?  _

**Anything. Please.**

Josie thought for a second, before rubbing her arm clean, her soulmate doing the same, and Josie jumped into a story about how she and her friends, scribbling as much as she could on her tiny arm, waiting for the blue drop to appear, telling her her soulmate had read everything before she rubbed it on and wrote the next part of the story. 

Her soulmate thanked her, and ignored Josie's questioning if she was okay. 

The cuts started appearing a month after that.

Josie didn't even feel them, she only noticed them when she was in the shower, thin, silver lines littering her inner thighs.

She didn't understand, wondering what the hell could be causing her soulmate such odd injuries. 

Then it dawned on her, the placement,  _ no one would see _ . 

Josie felt her heart shatter completely, she had tried to check in with them over the past month but had been actively ignored, so Josie stopped trying. 

She regretted that now. 

She thought about telling them to stop. Writing something there for them to see next time, but she didn't know  _ what.  _

What do you say to someone who lost their parents and is coping by harming themselves? 

She breached the topic with her mother that night. 

"What do you say to someone who is hurting themselves?" Josie asked quietly, almost half an hour after joining her mother in her office while she worked. 

Her mother stopped typing, slowly turning to Josie, who didn't look up from her fiddling fingers. 

"Is it Lizzie?" Josie shook her head. "You?" 

"No, mom, I- just a friend." Josie said. "But they're hurting themselves and I don't know how to help." 

"The only way to help if to encourage them to get help, you can't help them, Jo." 

Josie nodded slowly. "They just lost their parents," She said, looking up at her mom with tearful eyes. "I don't know what to do, mom."

"Oh, sweetie." Caroline sighed, moving to sit beside her daughter, pulling her in for a hug. "Who is it? I will talk to their guardian."

Josie shook her head. "No, you can't."

"Sweetie," 

"No, we can't. Forget I said anything."

Josie quickly left, and whenever her mother tried to bring it up after that Josie ignored her. 

She spent every night after that night leaving small hearts over the lines in her thigh. 

She met Penelope Park a month before her fifteenth birthday. 

There was an immediate connection there, to the point they just assumed they  _ were  _ soulmates, until they tested it out and realised they weren't. 

They were both disappointed at first, but decided to stay together anyway, have a little fun. 

Josie loved Penelope, and Penelope loved her, they  _ fell in love _ , but their days were numbered, they both knew that. 

It was six months before she turned sixteen that it happened. That her soulmate tried to kill themselves. 

Josie was having dinner with her family and Penelope. It was a normal dinner, her father was distant and drunk, Lizzie was scowling, Penelope was charming, and her mother was concerned about Lizzie. 

About halfway through Josie felt it, the horrible feeling in her stomach, the  _ burning,  _ and at first she thought it was the food. 

Then she was startled out of her pain induced haze when Penelope tentatively touched her cheek. 

"You okay? You're looking really pale, Jojo."

"I don't feel too great." Josie admitted. "I probably need some fresh air."

She stood, and barely got a few steps before she doubled over in pain, hitting her knees as she clutched her stomach, then she started feeling weak, and a little dizzy. 

She knew it wasn't her. Something in the back of her head was shouting at her that this wasn't her, that this wasn't right. 

"Somethings wrong," Josie murmured, everyone now surrounding her. 

"You're okay, you're probably just feeling a little sick." her mother said, but Penelope was watching her carefully, like she understood, so Josie spoke directly to her. 

"Somethings wrong, they're hurting themselves."

"Do you know who it is?" Penelope questioned. 

"No, I- I don't know how to help." Josie struggled to breathe , leaning into Penelope’s chest. 

"It's okay, they'll be okay." was that last thing she remembered Penelope whispering before she passed out completely. 

Penelope was still there when she woke up, holding Josie tightly from behind. 

"How long has it been?" Josie asked, sitting up slightly to grab the pen from her bedside table. 

"Uh," Penelope grumbled sleepily, blinking blearily at her phone. "Four hours."

_ Are you okay?  _

She quickly wrote on her arm, settling down against Penelope again, her eyes not leaving her arm. 

"How are you feeling?" Penelope questioned quietly, holding Josie tight, forehead against her back. 

"A little better." Josie hummed. 

The reply came an hour later, and it certainly wasn't in her soulmates penmanship. 

**She's alive.**

Josie felt her whole body relax at that, turning in Penelope's arms, shaking the girl awake again. 

"Y'okay?" she asked, barely responding when Josie kissed her. "Mm." 

"Thank you," 

Penelope opened one eye, a little smile on her lips. "Thank me by sleeping."

Josie laughed, more out of relief than anything else, letting Penelope hug her against her chest. 

"I love you, Penelope."

"M'love you."

It was a few days before she heard anything more, but this time it was her soulmate that wrote to her. 

**Hi**

_ Hi?  _

_ That's what you open with?  _

_ What were you thinking?  _

Josie felt a little bad, especially when it took them a little over ten minutes to reply. 

**I don't know. I'm sorry.**

_ This doesn't just affect you.  _

_ I understand that you're hurting  _

_ I'm sorry about that _

_ But the world would not be a better place without you in it.  _

**You don't know anything about me**

_I don't need to._ _I trust myself to have a good soulmate._

_ Not to mention you're a talented artist :)  _

**Thank you**

**I am sorry.**

**It just hurts so much.**

_ We can talk about it, you know.  _

**I've never been good with feelings.**

**But I will try.**

And she did, in a compilation of rushed words, words being rubbed out and replaced, incoherent sentences, but the barebone of it was that this girl had watched her parents die, and didn't see the point of living anymore. 

Josie was heartbroken, unsure of how to even deal with this. 

She decided she was going to talk to her soulmate every day, even if she didn't get a reply. 

It started off with unrequited good mornings, but then she started getting replies, so she started adding good nights, then talking about their day, then talking about more personal stuff (but  _ never  _ sensitive information, not after Kai).

Josie met Hope by accident, she had just gotten into an argument with Lizzie, bursting into her father's office, where Hope and her aunt Freya were sitting. 

Josie halted completely, her eyes lingering on Hope. 

"Can I help you, Josette?" her father asked. 

"Uh, no. Sorry to interrupt." Josie said. 

"Actually, this is perfect." he said when Josie made to leave. "You could show Hope to her room."

"Oh," Josie looked from her father to Hope, who was already watching her. "Okay, sure."

Hope said her goodbyes, before following Josie out of the office. 

"I'm Josette Saltzman," She said, smiling softly at Hope. "But please call me Josie."

"Josie," Hope hummed. "I'm Hope Mikaelson."

"Its nice to meet you, welcome to Salvatore." Josie smiled, waving her hands in an exaggerated fashion. 

That managed to pull a smile from Hope, but it was a small one, and didn't stay long. 

Josie got Hope settled, and told her if she needed anything to let her know. 

Of course, she didn't. Hope didn't leave her room other than for class, keeping to herself, but she still managed to captivate the entire school. 

She and Penelope broke up a week before her sixteenth birthday. 

She was moving to Belgium with her mother, and while they were in love, and they enjoyed being together, they knew long distance was pointless, so tearfully agreed to end it there, and Josie kissed Penelope goodbye. 

It was Hope who found her in front of the fire after curfew. 

"Hey," Josie jumped at the voice, but didn't take her eyes away from the flames. "Josette, right?" 

"Josie." Josie corrected. 

"Josie," Hope corrected. "Are you okay?" 

"My girlfriend and I broke up today." Josie sniffed. 

"Shit, I'm sorry." Hope said. "Were you soulmates?" 

Josie shook her head, turning her eyes to Hope. "Is this when you come out, under the cover of nightfall?" 

Hope gave a half smile. "Aunt Freya said I need to put myself out there, make friends."

"Everyone is in bed." Josie laughed. 

"Not you," Hope shot back. 

"Well, I'm heart broken, I don't count." Josie murmured. "Why can't you sleep?" 

"Restless, I guess." Hope shrugged. "Can I do anything to help?" 

"I don't think so, I think I just need to feel it out." Josie leaned her chin on her knee. "I'm more upset that she's left than the break up, to be honest, she is my best friend."

"Yeah, that must suck." Hope hummed, watching the flames, and Josie let herself stare, really taking in the girl in front of her, the flames giving Hope's features a pretty red glow. 

"Staring is rude." Hope said without looking at her, her lips hooked up into a little grin. 

"So's being that pretty." Josie shot back easily, smiling when Hope laughed. 

"Easy, champ, you just broke up with your girlfriend." Hope gave her a gentle little shove. 

Josie let herself rock slightly, a little sigh leaving her lips. 

Hope did put herself out there after that, integrating into their group seamlessly. She and Josie became closer, and while she was distant with the rest of the group she was  _ different  _ with Josie, and everyone had commented on that. 

Josie ignored them, they were reading too much into it.

Penelope texted her toward the end of summer telling her she had met her soulmate, a pretty Belgian girl who barely spoke English, and it was kind of an issue because Penelope knew very little Dutch, but they were both learning. 

She sent a photo of the two of them, and Josie had to admit they were cute together. 

She was happy for them. 

She had spent the summer with Hope, Lizzie was off with their mother, and her father spent most of it drunk, which Hope had noticed and comforted Josie over. 

Josie knew what she was feeling, she wasn't stupid, and she didn't want to do it again, the pain of breaking up with Penelope was enough to put her off for a while. 

But what was she supposed to do, when Hope was so free with her, her smile so genuine that her eyes crinkled, and she would stare at Josie with tender eyes. 

They would hang out, they would cuddle, and Josie knew she should stop it, keep her distance, but who could really blame her for fully embracing it? 

It was the night before everyone was due back at school when it all came out. She and hope were in the kitchen, Hope perched on the counter, watching Josie with those wide blue eyes while Josie made them dinner - stir-fry-, but it was distracting, and Josie's hand slipped while cutting the baby corn, nicking the side of her pointer finger. 

She wasn't the only one to hiss in pain, Hope frowning down at her own finger as the fantom line appeared on her finger,  _ right where Josie's was.  _

Josie stared, wide eyes, as Hope slowly lifted her eyes to Josie, her lips parted in shock. 

"You," Josie whispered, everything from the past ten years flashing through her mind. Hope tried to  _ kill herself _ . "Hope."

"I've gotta go." Hope was off the counter in a flash, rushing for the door, Josie hot on her heels. 

"Hope, please." Josie reached out to grab her wrist, pulling her back, and Hope didn't really put up much of a fight collapsing against Josie's chest when she pulled her in for a hug. 

"I'm so sorry, Jo." Hope sobbed against her chest, and Josie pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

"I know you are. We're okay," Josie assured, rubbing Hope's back. "I'm sorry you're hurting."

Hope didn't stop crying for well over twenty minutes, but once she did they moved to Josie's room, Hope lying with her head on Josie’s chest. 

"Please don't do it again, Hope."

Hope shook her head. "I'm seeing someone now, I'm dealing with it, I wasn't before. I haven't hurt myself since that night."

Josie nodded slowly, raking her hands through Hope’s hair. "Would you talk to me if you're struggling?"

Hope lifted her head to rest her chin against Josie’s sternum. 

"Talking to you these past months has helped, Jo. Both in person and in writing. You've helped me a lot, and at first I thought that was enough, but aunt Freya said it wasn't healthy to put all your problems on someone, so I got help." Hope explained. "I got help because I wanted to be good enough when we met."

"Hope," Josie breathed. "You're good enough. Now, back then, always."

"You're great, Jo, and I'm broken."

"You think I'm not?" Josie laughed. "My dad's an alcoholic, my mom doesn't pay attention to me, I have an unhealthy codependency with my twin. Just because we're broken doesn't mean weren't not worthy."

Hope stared at her for a short while. "I'm so glad it's you."

A slow smile spread on Josie's lips as she pushed a few strands of hair from Hope’s face. "Yeah?" 

"Definitely," Hope smiled slightly. "I've had a crush on you since you came barreling into your dad's office, but you were with Penelope, I figured she was your soulmate."

"We met a little over a year ago, and we liked each other, so we decided to go with it, we didn't know  _ when  _ we would meet out soulmates, we certainly didn't think it would be when we were in school." Josie said with a little shrug. "But she found hers when she moved." 

"How do you feel about that?" Hope asked, and Josie smiled down at her, knowing she was trying to gauge her reaction. 

"I'm happy for her, just like she'll be happy for me knowing that I've found you." Josie spoke softly, skimming her fingertips down Hope's cheek. "I'm glad it's you, Hope Mikaelson."

"You are? After everything?" 

"Of course." Josie spoke with a little more conviction. "You're still here, after everything, that shows just how strong you are."

"I gave up," Hope whispered, her eyes downcast. 

"We all slip sometimes." Josie placed a hooked finger under Hope's chin, prompting Hope to look up to her. "You're strong, and even after everything you are still kind, and sweet, and thats amazing in and of itself."

"For a long time I didn't think I deserved a soulmate, I thought I was rotten, and then I survived the crash that killed parents and that made it all worse."

"Is that why we barely talked? Lizzie talks to hers every day."

Hope nodded slowly. "I didn't think I deserved it, so I distanced myself."

"Oh, Hope," Josie breathed. "You deserve so much."

"I don't know if I believe that," Hope said. "But thank you, Jo."

"You're super pretty, too, which ain't nothin'." Josie put on her best southern accent, grinning when Hope rolled her eyes in that at she did when she was nervous of bashful. 

"You're just trying to get me to kiss you." Hope shot back with a little grin. 

"Is it working?" Josie arched an eyebrow. 

"It is," Hope nodded, her eyes dropping to Josie's lips, lingering for a few minutes, before she looked up at Josie's eyes. "Can I?" 

"Yes, Hope." Josie laughed, but it was swallowed but Hope, who stretched up to kiss Josie.

"I'm gonna keep doing that," Hope whispered against Josie's lips, her eyes hoodie, a brilliant smile on her lips, the smile Josie was definitely falling in love with, Hope's hand resting over her collarbone. "After we got ready for bed."

"Okay," Josie agreed, and Hope bounced off the bed, heading toward the door. 

Josie pushed herself up onto her elbows to watch her, "Hope?" she called just as she reached the door, and Hope turned around, smile still on her lips, eyebrows raised questioningly. 

"Yeah?" 

Josie just stared, she didn't really have anything she wanted to say, she just wanted to see that smile against before Hope disappeared for a while. Her eyes crinkled as she smiled a little wider at Josie's blatant staring. 

"Nothing," Josie finally said. 

"I'll be back in five." Hope promised, and Josie watched her leave with a smile. 

Hope was back less than five minutes later, and they spent the night cuddling, watching Netflix and kissing, Josie felt like she was on top of the world. 

Hope spend the night, and Lizzie barrelling into the room the following morning startled them both awake. 

She asked too many questions to the sleepy duo, so Josie shushed her as she walked Hope to the door, kissing her goodbye with a promise of meeting her breakfast. 

Josie explained everything to Lizzie, then Lizzie started rambling about Europe, so Josie pulled her phone out to text Penelope. 

**So**

**So?**

**I met my soulmate**

**No shit!**

**Who is it?**

**Send pics**

**Are they hot**

**They'll be hot I'm sure**

**Not hotter than me, tho**

  
  


**Hope?**

**Your soulmate is Hope!**

**That's so great, hopes cool!**

**Are you happy?**

  
  


**I really am, Pen**

**I don't think I couldve asked for anyone better**

**Then I'm happy for you**

**I will need to catch up with her when I'm back in the states for Christmas**

**Give her the shovel talk**

**My dad is supposed to do that**

**I like your dad, Jo**

**But his shovel talk to me was**

**'Don't hurt her'**

**What else is he supposed to say?**

**He should threaten me**

**Make me fear for ny life**

**Which is want I'm gonna do to hope**

**🙄**

**Thank you**

**You're very welcome, Jojo**

**Is she better?**

**She's seeing someone**

**She seems to be doing good**

**Good**

**Tell her I said hi**

Josie was unsure how Hope wanted to act around in public, she had actually meant to ask before breakfast, but she didn't get the chance. 

Not that it really mattered, because Hope sat in the free space beside Josie, at the table with all of her friends, ignoring the curious looks from everyone when smiling sweetly at Josie. "Hey, Jo."

Josie leaned into Hope's touch when she placed a hand on her back. "Hey, Hope."

Hope hesitated for a second, before placing a lingering kiss of Josie's lips.

"I  _ knew  _ it!" Kaleb clapped his hands. "Are y'all soulmates?"

Josie nodded, and Kaleb cheered, while everyone else groaned. 

"Y'all owe me twenty bucks, I said from the beginning." he grinned happily. "Happy for ya both." 

Josie rolled her eyes at her best friend, turning her attention to Hope, who was already staring up at her with a little smile. 

"You couldn't have waiting another week to tell everyone?" Lizzie grumbled.

"You shouldn't have been betting on us, you deserve to lose you money." Josie said smugly, her arm sliding across Hope's shoulder to pull her closer. "If you had brought me in on it we could have made sure you won and split the money."

Lizzie tutted, rolling her eyes at Josie.

"Hey," Hope said quietly when everyone's attention was off them. "We should go to town at the weekend, get a milkshake or something."

Josie smiled down at her. "Like a date?"

"Yeah, definitely." Hope nodded.

"Okay, pick me up at four."

"Deal," Hope agreed, a little grin on her lips when Josie dipped down to kiss her.

"God, you guys are gross," Lizzie grumbled, and Josie just flipped her off as she moved in to kiss Hope again.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you guys think?  
> thatoneloser-kid.tumblr.com


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